"Opinion: a view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind
about a particular matter" - Mirriam-Webster Dictionary
Everyone has opinions. Frequently, one person's opinions
differ from another person's opinions. Differing opinions regarding one's own
preferences are natural and those differences contribute to the variety and
spontaneity of life. I prefer red delicious apples, and my husband prefers gala
apples. I have a compelling argument as to why I have such a preference, but
the qualities that I find important and appealing may not be the same as the
qualities my husband prefers. However, our disagreement on which apple is best
doesn't result in either of us not getting what we would like. It just means
that our fruit selection varies more than if we were to agree.
Some opinions apply to situations where not everyone will be
able to get what they want. This happens with group events such as going to the
movies, planning wedding menus, agreeing on a radio station on a road trip, and
even things as serious as legislation. I can deal with having to listen to
music I might not like, eating food that isn't my favorite, and seeing a movie
that I might find less entertaining than another, but when opinion shapes
legislation, I might be left with options that strip me of rights and
resources. When having an opinion about what other people should or shouldn't
be doing with their own resources and their own bodies is met with action, you should expect scrutiny.
"The greatest deception men suffer is from their own
opinions." - Leonardo da Vinci
The more serious your opinion, the more anger or frustration
you may feel at having your opinion challenged. You might also feel anger and
frustration if, when trying to summon up a good reason for holding your
opinion, you are reduced to shouting, huffing, eye-rolling, and other
non-verbal behavior that signal your deteriorating emotional state to the other
party. You may not have considered before that you could be wrong, and this
possibility can be extremely troubling. You are good person, and you like to
think that you do things for good reasons. At this point, you either have to
insist that you are correct while attempting to skirt the issues of reason and
evidence, scare off the offending questioner with threats or posturing, or
concede that you may be wrong and wither away into a puddle of wrongness under
some moldy rock amidst the muck and mire of the dregs of society.
"Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance." - Plato
Everyone has been wrong, even overtly wrong in front of
other people. It can be anything from mildly embarrassing to utterly crushing.
But, realizing that you may be wrong is a profound state of mind, because it
allows you to change. I am not saying that, just because someone disagrees with
you, that you are wrong. But, I am saying that, if someone disagrees with you,
listening to what they have to say and talking to them is important. Why do you think that way you do? Consider your own motivations and the points that the other
person is making. What is important to them, and what is important to you, and
why?
"Too often, we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the
discomfort of thought." -John F. Kennedy
Frequently, opinions are formed out of an emotional impetus and maintained because we choose to see what
supports our opinions and ignore what challenges them. One bad or good
experience causes generalizations to be made that shape our perception of our
environment. Additionally, people tend to choose company that share their
opinions because it is easier to agree and remain amicable. Disagreeing with
someone that you like can be uncomfortable, and even if two people may disagree
about something, they might mutually decide to never discuss it by avoiding
the issue. However, if nobody ever discussed their opinions, society would
become static, dull, and unproductive.
Disagreements combined with mutual respect are important.
Discussing important issues like politics and religion are important.
Disagreements about religion and politics are unavoidable and have great
potential for deepening understanding of each other as well as improving the
standards by which we live as a society, so don't shy away from conflict.
Temper it with patience and see what new ideas arise from not keeping your opinions
to yourself.
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